“GRRRR U IZ N00B PC BILDR!!!” :-P

Gotta love it when elitists who’ve been building computers for years flock to comments sections of someone who openly admits they’re building their first computer in order to pick them apart…  😛

“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHE FINGERD DUH CPU PASTE!!!!”  Well now.  She DID say right there in the title that this was her first gaming PC build.  Man, and people wonder why there’s an issue with girls getting into STEM or gaming.  😛

I don’t know where people get off thinking that someone is going to have all their ducks in a row for PC Build Numero Uno.  It’s almost as if it’s a bad thing to be a curious beginner.  However, for the edification and enlightenment of beginners wondering why thermal paste needn’t be spread like butter…  🙂

Here’s the fun part.  She didn’t use a stock cooler.  🙂  This means since she has real thermal paste in an actual tube all she has to do is just alcohol off the “thermal butter job” from earlier and just squeeze another dot in the middle and put everything back together.  Not like it’s the end of the world or anything that boo hoo hoo she admitted up front that she’s never built a computer before and acted like a beginner.  🙂  Maybe if she wants to cut operating temps on her CPU or something…  🙂

She also learned that gravity is her friend with unboxing the case too.  🙂  Seriously folks, let new people get their feet wet.  It’s how more people become PC builders, in case y’all forgot.  🙂

…and… subbed!!!  🙂

LinusThumbJokes – Round 2 :-D

“…and now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the ultimate demonstration of what NOT to do with a laptop.”  😀

“Dude!  This phone is so light it floats!!!”  😀

Even the most successful of big time Tech YouTubers can get caught sleeping on the job.  😀

“Awww yeah.  Got mah ‘puter.  Got mah hot dawgs.  We be livin’ it up y’all!”  😀

Cure your receding hairline the easy way with Microsoft Paint!!!  😀

When you spend all your money on gaming PCs they’d better be so awesome that you don’t need to spend any money on actual lights for your gaming room!  😀

“Dude!  I just needed twenty bucks for gas and it spat out this thing instead!”

…because why should Apple have all the fun making computers that look like “waste receptacles?”  😀

“G Skill made a swank keyboard that looks like beer before I spill my beer into it!  Nerd up nerd up nerd up!  Woo woo woo woo woo!!!”  😀

The Incredible iDell Pastichery

…what can I say?  Green Ham wandered into Dellasaurus territory last Summer.  😀  I couldn’t let that sort of thing go unanswered…  🙂

…but hey, at least I didn’t almost torch my Dellasaurus in the name of special effects…  😀

…and at least I didn’t raid Wii Sports for background music…  😀

“It Sounds Like A 90s Computer!!!” – Part 2

Once again we return to the bad old days of computers with no multimedia appeal.  No pizzazz.  No style.  Just something that looked like it belonged in an office even when at home – a far cry from today’s sleek Darth Vader style black towers or other form factors with HDMI out and enough horsepower to smoke all the video game consoles and relegate them to entry level status.

YouTube’s search algorithms have been much friendlier.  Check out the drone of fans constantly running at full speed and clacky clanky hard drives you can hear from across the room…  😛

Oh look.  There’s one now.  😛

“Help!!! Help!!!  2000s!!!  Save us!!!”  Welllllllllllllll…..  🙂

Yeah.  Even in the Windows 2000 era this crap was still going on.  Drony fans that always ran at full speed, hard drives that could wake a sleeping cat…  😛

Sometimes you would get lucky though and find a computer whose grindy drive made the machine sound like a coffee maker.  🙂

Want to know when you’ve found an old HP?  Hewlett Packard is still spelled out. 😀

Then there’s the classic “Tada!!!” sound from Windows 3.1, which was a way of saying, “Woohoo!  My computer finished booting!  What an accomplishment!”  😀

Here’s a machine that reminds me of the one the guy who inspired me to build my first system threw together in the Summer of 2002.  Check out that tiny exhaust fan…  😀

Right then.  What was this article about again?  Oh wait.  Here we go.  🙂

It never fails.  A look back at the bad old days makes me better appreciate the present.  Back to today’s computers.  🙂

“It Sounds Like A 90s Computer!!!”

I built my first computer in the early 2000s.  I first heard of homebrew computers in the late 1990s when a guy I went to school with built his own Pentium II machine with a whopping 333 MHz processor.  😛

Until the computer that was supposed to get me through college… didn’t… and necessity became the mother of invention as usual, building computers didn’t appeal to me.

Quite frankly, building computers before the start of this millennium sounded rather drab.  No broadband if you needed to quickly look something up or download drivers, jumpers galore,  Baby AT versus the newfangled ATX, and 90s computers looking and sounding like… this.  😛

The loudest oldest hard drive I have circa late 2000s early 2010s is loud enough to hear from across the room while the computer’s running.  In the 1990s, you could always hear your computer in some way shape or form.

Ultimately, this is what you had back in those days.  A boring beige box (that turned ugly yellow after a few years) with a loud clunky hard drive and a cooling fan that always ran at full speed so there was always an audible hum going on.  Then there would be two pathetic speakers – sometimes amplified, sometimes not – attempting to do sound if you could hear them over the noise your system was already making.

Lastly, how about that paradox where as your computer got faster it booted more slowly because mechanical drives would bottleneck everything – especially with lower amounts of RAM.  You’d turn your system on – GRINNNNNNNNNNNND – and might as well just come back in 10 minutes to do anything intelligent whatsoever.  😛

By the way, these horrible old things cost more too.  Usually quad digits in US dollars.  How’s that for paying more for less?  😀

The silver lining to this rubbish 90s computer cloud though is that the right systems would sound like UFOs taking off or something when the drives spun up.  😀

90s Computers didn’t try to blend in around the house.  They were garish, barely different from their office counterparts, and you could tell immediately that they were computers and not the TV or a DVR or something.  You could always tell where the computer was.  It would be the one piece of the office in someone’s home, if they didn’t refer to the room with the computer as an “office” or “home office” or something.

Today, it’s a different world.  The strongest computer sales are among homebrew folks like myself building cutting edge desktops, towers, or wherever else we want to squeeze a computer these days.  Computers blend in better with home entertainment electronics and AV gear, like the sleek black Darth Vader towers I tend to build these days.  🙂  There are also fan controllers and larger-sized lower RPM fans that allow for much quieter operation, plus the ability to link the sound into a home theater system.  You don’t even need computer speakers anymore!

Today’s computers have personality, they’re a lot less expensive than in decades past, and quite frankly I wouldn’t trade today’s advances for 90s nostalgia boxes any day.  Unlike other forms of nostalgia, I see stuff like this these days and I’m like, “Yeah.  That sucked.  Thank goodness that crap’s gone.”

Don’t agree with me?  Well then.  This should give you a clue or two…  🙂

Paul’s Hardware Inadvertently Illustrates The Need For Show Flow

“If you don’t have flow, you don’t have a show, because if you don’t have flow, your show feels slow.”

Sometimes we run into this sort of stuff without even knowing we’re brushing up against it, as this video from Paul’s Hardware earlier in the month illustrates if we take a closer look.  Just because Paul runs a big tech channel doesn’t mean he’s immune to the need for show flow.  He just runs into these sorts of things with bigger numbers attached.  🙂

Before you even click on the video, whether you searched for Ryzen info or see this off to the side in the related videos panel, you’d already know from the metadata that it’s a video from Paul’s Hardware and it’s about Ryzen overclocking.  🙂  Otherwise you’d see it immediately as the video started playing.  🙂

Nice short intro aside, the video starts with “welcome back to Paul’s Hardware.  This is my second Ryzen video where I’m going to be talking about overclocking.”  Yes, as we just got done seeing in the metadata when clicking over to it!  Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  😛  On a more serious note, the first 20 seconds are what some video entertainment folks refer to as “hook time” which is the time you have to hook someone before they resume their digital channel flipping as they try to find something to watch – one reason why I did away with TV style intros at the beginning of every single upload and provide some context first if I keep them in the script.  🙂

It’s good to tell people what you’re going to be doing, which Paul does after the video starts but the PC build recap afterwards holds things up.  It shouldn’t be hard to use an end screen or description link for easy access to the previous video.  Matter of fact I’ve been experimenting with a trapezoid end screen with previous and next in the lower left and right corners with the remaining one or two slots for links to other content on the channel.  There’s no need to take minutes to get to what people clicked on the video to see!

To recap, this is a video by Paul’s Hardware about Ryzen overclocking.  Joe Viewer knows about all of this before ever clicking the video.  How long does it take for Paul to actually get to some Ryzen overclocking instead of acting like this specific video is the one and only video he has ever uploaded on YouTube?  🙂

Skip.  Skip.  Skip.  I’m now using my skip bar and the channel is losing watch minutes.  Oh look a spreadsheet. Woohoo.  All those flashy video thingie options on YouTube and I get to stare at Excel!!!  Yay I should just go back to the office.  😛

…and then, there’s Notepad.  Skip.  Skip.  Skip.  😛  Oh look.  The BIOS.  More hot menu action!!!  Although this is technically part of overclocking but this sort of thing is one of the shortcomings of over-the-shoulder tech videos.  Yeah it’s like being over a friend’s house watching them mess with a computer, but YouTube lets you pre-edit before uploading if you’re not streaming live.  This wasn’t a stream.  Why wasn’t it edited?  There will be at least a few people who take issue with that.

This video is a little over 23 minutes long.  You could technically say the bumping around in the BIOS is technically the beginning of the overclocking – 7 minutes in.

Fortunately, the testing picks up from there, but if you’ve noticed the background music by this point in the video you might know that one of the things background music is used for is to distract someone from how much time they’re wasting waiting for what they really want, like when used in a doctor’s office or restaurant.  In the doctor’s office you want to see the doctor about something.  The waiting room background music, magazines, etc., distracts you from the fact that you’re sitting around waiting to see the doctor.  Likewise in a restaurant when everything from the decor to the music to trying to have small talk with someone if you’re not in the restaurant by yourself to even poking around on your phone is to distract you from the fact that you’re sitting around waiting for what you really want – your darn food!

Now contrast this to something like Green Ham Gaming, which narrates things out and makes an entertaining story out of even something as mundane as goofing around with a 1st generation Core i7 Dellasaurus.  🙂

Even better (which might be hard for some people to imagine) is a new channel I recently subscribed to called TheWolfePit, which is similar to Ashens with YouTuber versus cheap food but more cinematic and directed.  This channel tries cheap foods with a lot less beating around the bush than something like Wreckless Eating, but there’s a place for videos about a bunch of friends shooting the breeze with some goofy food dares.  🙂

Some folks have complimented me on some of the changes to what I upload that takes things more in this direction, and let’s just say I’m not anywhere near short on inspiration to do so.  🙂  At the same time, Paul’s Hardware has inadvertently illustrated just what a lack of show flow looks like by taking nearly half of a 23 minute video to get to the overclocking that folks on YouTube are looking for when they click on that video.

Not all of this is YouTubers’ fault though.  The site’s roots as something resembling a more video-y form of social media and with vloggers ruling the roost unfortunately had the unintended consequence of normalizing certain kinds of behavior that are inherently antagonistic to show flow, such as a big long intro, or talking a lot at the end of a video (which traditional “calls to action” eventually became) or even the informal nature of what sitting in front of a webcam meant back when YouTubers were just talking to each other via video uploads.

YouTube also rides the wave of this stuff with their advertising system with those automatic mid-roll ads that certain videos display, which often slaughter the show flow by abruptly stopping what you’re watching and hopefully you don’t end up waiting for an unskippable ad to finish interrupting what you were watching.  However, because bad show flow was tolerated on YouTube in “the good old days” people stomach it, so it’s a thing.  :-\

These days, bad show flow finds its home on live streaming services where you have no ability to edit things down, but in environments like YouTube where editing beforehand is more of an option, it makes sense to make more use of it.

Regardless, even from a Semper Reformanda perspective here in 2017, show flow makes all the sense in the world.  🙂

YouTuber Spotlight – Green Ham Gaming

Grab yourself a cup of tea, or a beer if that’s more your thing, because it’s time to talk about a YouTuber whose style of tech videos could make anyone do a double take.  🙂

In the few times I get related to other YouTubers, it’s usually either Druaga1 or Green Ham Gaming.  Most likely this is due to the casual “over the shoulder” style that I employ when tinkering with technology.  The idea is to create a virtual version of going over someone’s house and watching them tinker with something – something I’ve seen other YouTubers do with computers, cars, shopping trip “hauls”, you name it.  🙂

Trivia Alert – In my Playoutsideland spoof skit from 2012 I referenced going over a friend’s house being something you did on the Internet.  There’s a lot that this joke references.  Playstation Home at the time, Minecraft, Second Life, ActiveWorlds, perhaps YouTube videos as well…  😀  Right.  Let’s talk about Green Ham.  🙂

Tim James from Green Ham Gaming takes my tech video style and throws it completely in reverse (should I expect that because he’s from Australia?  😀 ).  Instead of casual film-first-ask-questions-later basically creating a more casual “go over a friend’s house and watch them mess with tech toys” approach he actually does a more narration-driven and cinematic type of video where if I wanted to try that myself I would record the narration into the video editing software first and then add clips later.  I’ve tried that a few times, though with how he seems to be inspiring some tech folks to try this themselves maybe I should join the fun.  😀

What First Got Me Watchin’:

This one’s an easy one.  I blogged about one of his videos shortly after discovering his channel in mid-2015 and did a RadioStyle podcast too – both regarding this video thingie…  😀

The rationale was simple.  I had recently tinkered with a Dell Optiplex 760 that I was taking from one building at the 925 to another and wondered if one could take a Core 2 Dell box and put a small GPU in it to make it into a gaming console.  I wouldn’t do that these days though unless I knew I could swap in an SFX power supply if the Dell “tube supply” ever died.  😦  I’m not in the business of getting snookered by proprietary nonsense anymore.  😦

Green Ham Gaming Today:

It’s little wonder folks relate me to Green Ham so much.  Mr. James has pet names for his systems, likes to make old computers dance, and has a gaming and multimedia focus on the computer tinkering that he does.  I don’t know if I should take that as a hint that folks might want more narration-driven content from me or not, but I might consider it when we’re not getting snowstorms every 3 days here in New England…  🙂

Shortly after seeing his console killer I also blogged about his little showdown between a $100 PC and an XBox 360…  🙂

…and yes he has this thing for smoking computers…  😀

Also worth noting – while I’ve been pondering something more along the lines of his style, the reverse has already happened.  Tell me if this seems familiar…  🙂

…and of course how could we forget The Incredible i5 Dell, perhaps the inspiration for my next Dellasaurus.  😀

Not to say he doesn’t already have a Dellasaurus…  😀

…or another Dellasaurus…  😀

…actually wait.  He seems to have a collection of them.  😀

… and a Gateway?

The fun thing is that it mostly doesn’t matter what order I paste these in.  A lot of the Green Ham videos are not all that time sensitive, so like other binge-watch-friendly channels one can easily bounce around through the back catalog until they’ve finally watched it all.

It is in light of this fact that I openly invite you to zip over there and start bouncing around the back catalog.  However, because this is a blog entry about Green Ham Gaming we owe it to ourselves to end with Shenmue’s Tomato Convenience Store theme again…  😀

Where Are The Greenmarks?!!  😀