Dear Blizzard – If Cataclysm Was Your Idiot Trap, Now’s The Time To Nerf It

Twice – I have tried to continue leveling my monk by running Cataclysm dungeons, usually as a healer.

Twice – It has been Blackrock Caverns.

Twice – The group I’ve been with has been so outrageously horrible that I wound up leaving the group, ignoring at least one of the players so the Dungeon Finder never groups me up with them ever again, and never wanting to run a random ever again.

I mean – seriously – what kind of morons play this game these days?

Last night I had this hilariously horrible group that kept wiping all over the place and a crybaby DPS monk who spent more time complaining about how we were wiping than actually helping the group succeed.  Tonight I had a group that couldn’t handle even the most basic of boss fight mechanics.  We got to the ogre boss (first boss in the dungeon by the way) and these idiots couldn’t handle “The Skullcrusher.”  A TWELVE-SECOND stationary AE Cleave attack.  That’s right.  This attack takes TWELVE seconds to go off.  That’s a 1 with a 2 after it.  12.  Seriously, when you can’t run out of an attack that takes 12 seconds to go off and roots the boss in place for 12 seconds, you should just consider giving up on MMOs.  That’s about as bad as getting killed by Spout in the “Lurker Below” fight in Serpentshrine Cavern back in Burning Crusade, an offense TotalBiscuit once said back in the WoW Radio days should get someone instantly GKicked (kicked out of their guild) because if you can’t dodge a huge really-slow-moving laser beam style attack, you definitely should stick to Farmville in terms of gaming.

By the way, this is REGULAR Blackrock Caverns.  This is the REGULAR version of the very first post-level-80 dungeon.  It’s NOT a heroic.  It’s NOT a challenge mode.  You could have said, “Oh come on Jay, go easy on them in case they’re new players” at one point, but that cry for mercy holds no water these days.  Blizzard has an in-game dungeon guide detailing all the bosses for the dungeons nowadays.  There is NO excuse for not being able to handle a fight. None.

Another recent frustration I’ve been hearing about lately that reared its ugly head in this debacle is people not being able to handle monk healing spheres.  Monk healers beginning at Level 80 when they get mastery auto-generate free healing spheres near people who are getting healed.  They’re big green orb things that if I use them in Goldshire when everyone’s dueling and messing around makes people go “Oh cool.  Floating orbs!!!  :)” but in a dungeon where someone just has to touch them to get a decent burst of free healing, people literally run around them.  I literally had a horrendous DPS in this latest group on one boss fight STAND RIGHT NEXT TO one of my healing spheres at 8% health like a complete and total moron.  One more hit would’ve killed him.  Yet here he was standing there like “Duh healer heal my sorry ass” with a Healing Sphere literally one step away off to his side.

This is why people don’t play healers (and to a lesser extent – tanks).  This is why there are shortages of healers and tanks that jack up the queue times for DPS players.  This is why dungeon groups take longer to put together than they should, and this is why trinity-based MMOs are destined to fail in the long run, because so many gamers are just too casual and apathetic to even be bothered to learn what Tanks, Healers, and Damage Dealers are all about in the first place.  I mentioned earlier that Blizzard may be toning down the MMO Holy Trinity in response to Guild Wars 2 on lower difficulty levels.  I hope they do so.  I had better groups running Ascalonian Catacombs in Guild Wars 2 than this dungeon in this game!!!

Cataclysm was supposed to bring back some challenge to World of Warcraft after Wrath Of The Lich King became too easy too quickly.  The net result was in the early stages of the content it was a little too hard and many people – myself included – didn’t bother with a lot of the content as a result because I knew people wouldn’t be able to handle it.  I myself stayed out of a lot of dungeons during Cataclysm because of the massive healer nerfs that pretty much made healers’ existing problems even worse.  Everyone already blamed healers for their own mistakes, but now that morons taking too much avoidable damage could make healers run out of mana and kill the group – forget it.  In a way, Cataclysm reminded me of the Thunderhead Keep instance in the original Guild Wars.  Back in the day Thunderhead Keep was a significant jump in difficulty in the game and basically what would happen is clueless people who couldn’t handle it wouldn’t be able to progress in the game beyond that mission.  I heard horror stories in the outpost of how people tried 5 or 6 groups and couldn’t beat the mission.  Meanwhile, I completed it with all AI-controlled henchmen.  😛  I’m wondering if this Cataclysm content might be similar and I should give up on the random dungeon tool and start looking for decent people on my server to run dungeons with again.

I’m only in this situation because everyone I used to run with either quit the game or changed servers, so I was hoping Dungeon Finder and lower difficulty content would make up for a lack of talent among the folks queuing up for these runs.  So far though – nothing but disappointment.  Many people consider Cataclysm to be the worst WoW expansion thusfar, and I can see why.  😛  I don’t know.  Maybe I should try tanking instead.  😛  My monk DOES have a Brewmaster spec and Agility gear.  Hmmmm…..  😛

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